for a week or so i've been through such a sequel of stories. to be honest, i didn't really realize that the impact will be this big to me, myself. i used to be okay because i always believe that i might had been through some worse than only these. but it seems like undeniable that it caused me pain, under confidence, less trust, skeptic sights, pessimistic thoughts. i've ever through some situation before but it doesn't mean that i can successfully handle these ones again, this time. Experiences taught you to be used to the situation, the same feeling, the same clouds over head. but i guess, experiences didn't taught the same pattern of solution, different issue needs different way out. Experiences made me knew the sense when it is about to come and if finally come again. but when it comes, you will have the same surprise and heart ache again. didn't i learn from the previous events? i guess i learnt, but it always come that way, with surprises and heart ache, so hard to be handled. the world had crumble in front of my eyes once, and here it is, i have it again. i just know that it can crumbles so many times. my soul had dead sometime ago, but here it is, i have it dead again. i only have faith, the only thing i believe i should maintain good no matter what. people come and go, moods can be good and bad, but i have faith to certain people that i still can be a Hercules, i still have a good shaped heart for them to either take care or to slice it into pieces. and even if they did so, it still, a finest shaped one. for them. because i have faith on them. well, stormy days came and pass by, changed with another happy times and might come back again, yet to come. ps: i need to recover my soul. i might be just lost.